US Representative for 27th Congressional District:
Blake Farenthold (R) likes to party. We like that. Shows us the man has balls.
Solomon Ortiz (D) parties with little Asian boys. No likey!
Texas Governor:
Bill White (D) cleaned up Houston. Still looks like a piece of sh*t place to us!
Rick Perry (R) wears the finest leather jackets from The King Ranch catalog. Go Texan.
District 34 State Representative:
Connie Scott (R) is a nice lady. Good choice for the people. TO COACH A KIDS SOCCER TEAM.
Abel Herrero (D) is nice too. TO PLAY ON THAT SOCCER TEAM.
District 33 State Representative:
Raul Torres (R) a virtual unknown and has teamed up with some high profile crooks.
Solomon Ortiz Jr. (D) still owes us $5 for that time we got him high.
NO ENDORSEMENT.
105th District Court:
Jose Manuel Banales: Obviously corrupt, pays lawsuits off with county money.
Angelica Hernandez: Smart lady, hates Banales just as much as we do.
Nueces County Judge:
Loyd Neal (R) is qualified and capable of running the County. Even though he hires all his buddies.
Clarissa Gonzalez (R) is borderline retarded. No one even likes fiber optics anymore! This isn't 1996!
County Court At Law 5:
Terry Shamsie (D) soft on kids, but he gets the job done. We really want him to get tough.
Brent Chesney (R) He has his hands in everything. Stay with your already 4 demanding jobs, Brent!
Nueces County Commissioner Precinct 2:
Joe A. Gonzalez (JAG) (D) is used to handling big budgets. And placing them into his own pockets.
Gil Hernandez (R) will only spend 15 hours on the job a week. But, free Coke for everyone. Win!
Nueces County District Attorney:
Anna Jimenez (R) Does she know what she is doing? Who knows. Will she put people behind bars? If she is as fierce in the courtroom as she is in the breakroom, yes.
Mark Skurka (D) has tried 6 cases in 10 years. In contrast, he has eaten 6 donuts in 1 day.
Justice of the Peace:
Joe Benavides: Why does everyone hate this guy? Oh yeah. He is a d*ckhead.
Amanda Torres: We want to slow dance with her like at the end of Dirty Dancing.
In all sincerity, the best to all candidates. Thanks for tuning in to La Bandera. Make sure you vote November 2nd. Utilize your rights as a citizen of these United States. Voices must be heard.
