Joe Benavideth's Judicial Experience: Hooter's Swimsuit Competition

In what seems to be an extremely hot race for Justice of The Peace, Precinct 1, Place 1 for Nueces County, a local man has thrown his hat into the political ring for the 4th time, all of which have been unsuccessful, but this time, hoping for the best.  "I'm Joe Benavideth, and I want to be your Justith of the Peath."  says Benavideth on Wednesday.  Ith's time thomeone thpoke for the thitizens of Corputh Chrithti.  Clearly and conthicely."

"Order in the Court! I'll have Pickle Chips!"

Benavideth has no legal experience, but has already taken steps to remedy that:  First stop, Hooters of Corpus Christi's annual Swimsuit Compe"tit"ion and Bikini Car Wash.  La Bandera caught up with the judicial hopeful at the event and spent some quality time with him and according to Mr. Benavideth, some "theriouth hottieth!"

"My opponent sayth I have no real knowledge of Judicial processth, or the lawth of the State of Texath.  Ith's true.  I don't.  But I'm willing to fixth this aysthap (asap, s.i.c)."  Since then, Benavideth has been on the "thircuit" of the closest things to Judicial Conduct he can legally participate in.  "I'm a good judge of variouth things.  Bikinis, ribs, brithsket, livesthock (for 4H and FFA), coconut shrimp, pumpkin pieth, clam chowderths, anything really.  Im cleared to judge a lot of things.  Except for other human beingsth." says Benavideth about his broad culinary judicial experience.  "Now leth get thome wingth.  Im stharving!"

"This entry tastes like complete sh*t!" says Benavideth
 at a local church's Bake Sale and Pumpkin Pie Contest
to another unqualified and, unfortunately, diabetic pie judge.

Benavideth has also judged the City of Taft's annual Chuckwagon Chili Cookoff, of which there were 3 entries.   "The thpices are thuttle, having been thimmered for hourth over open flameth, with the thlightest amounths of tomatoeth sthewed to a thertain thoftness." Benavides eloquently spoke about the bowl that placed last in the competition, which he regarded as the best.  "Oh I meant to thay that one sthucked. I must have sthwitched the bowlth or my judgeth's card on accthident. STHORRY EVERYONE!"  Benavideth, who is not a certified teacher is certified to judge salsas and hot sauces.

Benavideth's hope for office hasn't been an easy one.  Often tied to political juggernaut Judge Joe A. Gonzales (JAG), Benavideth has come under scrutiny for being tied to JAG's charity "Education Is Our Freedom".  The charity took much needed fines, fees, and monies away from the citizens of Nueces County.  Parents and children under JAG's court were told to donate to the charity and submit donations in care of Joe Benavideth.  Almost $21,000 dollars of county funds were diverted to charities of JAG's choice, with the majority going to his personal charity project with Benavideth as a chairman.

"Is this serious? Am I being Punk'd too?"
asks Judge Torres.

Benavideth faces an uphill battle against his opponent and current Justice of the Peace, Judge Amanda N. Torres.  "He has no knowledge, experience, or understanding of the law.  He has no education in the legal field, and no knowledge of the rights of the people of Nueces County." says Judge Torres, who is a  licensed attorney by the State of Texas, and has had control of the office for over a year.  Judge Torres comes as a former prosecutor for the Nueces County District Attorney's office, working diligently and knowledgeably to see justice is served.  "Can't we just have someone who knows what they are doing?  No, really.  I'm being serious when I ask that.  Does he know anything?" the Judge added.

"The officth of Justith Of The Peath is a Peopleth Court.  A law degree isth'nt necthethary,"  says Benavideth, who has been watching numerous episodes of Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown on TiVo for training purposes on common legal terms and practices.  "This is Texath Jusith to the fulleth exthent!" says Benavideth, says an inspired Benavideth, after watching a rerun of an episode of Judge Larry Joe Doherty in action.  The popular television Judge Doherty dispenses tough "Texas Justice" to a woman to pay her ex-fiance $200 dollars for damage to his car's rear bumper after she backed into a dumpster at their apartment complex.  "Fair and balanced, b*tch!  Get thsome!" says Benavideth.  "Also, sthweet sthummer sthausthage tasteth sthplendid when sthliced in sthandwiches."