Race for Governor ads turn negative; Voters left to decide based on looks.

Austin, Texas
In what seems to be a never-ending flow of negative political advertisements, candidate Bill White (D) and incumbent Governor Rick Perry (R) have created a campaign environment so entrenched with finger-pointing and name-calling, both candidates have been reduced to vying for votes the old-fashioned way: with their looks.

Rick Perry pushes the ad envelope.

"I mean, they're both kind of older men, but I like that.  I mean, I choose Governor Perry.  He looks kind of like my uncle Harold mixed with this guy that works at the computer lab. I don't know!  Ahhhh!!  I'm really embarrassed to say this stuff, you guys!" says Texas A&M Corpus Christi freshman Tamara Hudson. "I kinda like his blazer," she adds, tousling her hair with her index finger.

Falling noticeably behind in early polls, challenger Bill White has decided to roll out the big guns.  Reports indicate White has invested $250,000 of what is left of his dwindling campaign budget to hire fashion-mogul/consultant and millionaire CEO extraordinaire Dov Charney.  Charney is widely known across the fashion world for his Los Angeles-based clothing company, American Apparel.

Bill White "Back to Basics" campaign.

"Bill came to me when he needed me the most.  He asked me 'What can I do?' I said, 'Do it all.  Live it, Bill.  Work it, flaunt it,'" describes Charney about the first meeting with the Gubernatorial candidate.  "I've launched a full-on web based-ad campaign.  We generate buzz.  This is guerilla blogging, or 'guerillogging' or 'blorilla'.  I haven't decided yet," says Charney from his vacation converted-warehouse loft in central Austin.  "How far is IKEA from here?" he inquired at the close of the interview.

White began with a traditional Myspace page, which was recently abandoned for his new Facebook page, where he has 35 "likes" and growing. "I check it like, twice a day. But on Saturday I'll be on there for like 3 hours, just posting funny YouTube vids on my friends walls," laughs White.  "I have a Twitter but I only have like 38 followers.  Oh you can follow me if you want. It's @imWhiteYo," White adds.

Candidate Bill Whites latest lookbook.nu post

American Apparrel CEO Dov Charney has also started submitting photos of candidate White on popular fashion site The Lookbook (www.lookbook.nu), where users from all over the world submit photos of their own personal fashion ensembles.  "At least, like, 7 people favorited my pic of me in some Wayfarers and a sweet peacoat." says White on his new obsession.  "I need that youth demographic to vote for me, since it's all about what you wear and who you are with, nowadays.  Issues?  What issues, man.  It's all a huge populatity contest, anyways."

The race is on to reach all demographics.  "Men, women, tweens, teeny-boppers, hipsters, ghetto-fab, the gays, the jock d-bags... we want everyone!" states White at his latest appearance at a Forever 21 inside a San Antonio mall.  "We are here, we are united, we are the future of Texas!"

-La Bandera